At AboutWorld we have recently come up with a unique DIY guide. Given our latest research into US politics (most notably on Why is Trump a Genius, US Economy and Fake News), we concluded that such a guide would be an easy next step. This is why we present to you our very own and first DIY guide: How to hijack a democracy in 3 simple and easy steps:
This step is probably the easiest for those of you who already have an evil plan in mind. As a first step, you should choose the democracy you want to hijack. Of course any democracy is doable, however there are easier and tougher ones. If you are a newbie at hijacking democracies, we suggest you pick one of the easier ones. While there isn’t (at least that we know of) a list out there ranking democracies by there hijackability, we do have a list of traits that might help you find an easy one:
- Patriotic: Yes, patriotism is one of the easiest ways to hijack a democracy. Patriotism is a feeling, and as such is fish to the marketing sharks. Patriotism has driven people to do the unthinkable. Diverging some of this drive to meet your needs should be easy once you target the right population with the right
- Radically religious: Similar to patriotism, but probably better. Radical religion has a tight grip on the population. Showing the right information aligned with the religion’s symbolism will make you nothing short of a puppet master. Great attribute if you want to hijack a democracy.
“After all, misleading Google algorithms is all about scale. And yes, maybe this step involves probably thousands of people generating fake accounts and fake content, but hey if you live in great dictatorial countries, you should be able to get enough bureaucrats to do it.”
- Low education: Yes, education will be the biggest blocker against your hijacking efforts. Acting like a self-defense mechanism, skepticism provided by education makes hijacking people’s opinions very difficult. Finding yourself a democracy with bad education standards will assure you an easy path towards your project.
- Disbelief in science: Populations who don’t really understand what science is all about will be the most likely to doubt it. These pockets of people are not hard to find, just search those who believe in things like homeopathy, that the earth is flat or that aliens discovered the transistor.
- Dumb people: In general, any democracy with enough dumb people should be easy to win over.
Now that you have selected, preferably an easy, democracy to hijack, the next step is to get your hijacking tools ready. As tools you will be using every and any site which allows you to post content which will be shown to your target users. Examples of such sites include, but are not limited to, twitter, facebook, blogger, wordpress, tumblr, instagram, 9gag, reddit etc. A second set of tools is creating fake sites to link to each other. You might be thinking this will be hard to do, however if Russian fanbots could build this network of webpages:
You can too. After all, misleading Google algorithms is all about scale. And yes, maybe this step involves probably thousands of people generating fake accounts and fake content, but hey if you live in great dictatorial countries, you should be able to get enough bureaucrats to do it.
Step 3 is all about patience and rapid execution. You’ll have to wait for elections of your desired democracy. About when candidates first start their campaigns, you should immediately choose the candidate that best suits your needs and then launch your arsenal of misinformation to change the minds of voters and assure victory for your candidate. If this proves not to be enough, you can always try to attack the other candidate’s campaigns. This becomes easy once you get access to other candidate’s campaign accounts to download confidential documents and expose them to the general public. You can also bring down their websites and disrupt their communication channels.
How to choose the right candidate should be an easy task. Whichever candidate favors the traits stated in ‘Step 1’ will probably suit your needs. Do note that the best candidates are the populist ones. Since they only care about the vote, they will do whatever they can to get it. Trading votes for favors should be easy with such candidates.
“[..] note that the best candidates are the populist ones. Since they only care about the vote, they will do whatever they can to get it.”
Hopefully this guide helps you in your endeavor. If you need inspiration you can always read news on previous successes such as Trump’s election and the famous Brexit. If you find yourself lost and in need of advice, you can always consult on any of our Russian comrades. I bet most of them would be willing as long as you mock their technical expertise.
Finally we wish you success in your hijacking adventure. If you ever get tired of hijacking democracies, don’t forget to support us by clicking on the ads or buying this excellent product on Amazon:
(This article is a satire)
Author: Andres Paez
Tech’er, writer, programmer, life enthusiast.